I mean, not the friendliest of welcomes, for sure.
‘Who are you? What do you want?’
In fact, usually the exact, sardonic, ‘welcome’ my Mum gives to anyone calling the landline after 6pm. Especially at 6pm (Eggheads is on see). But aside to the aggressive technique of cooling off cold callers, these 2 questions actually open up a huge chapter in our coaching repertoire. That of Identity.
One glorious morning Teresa and I were strolling through Clapham Common brainstorming how best we could describe what it is that we do. You’d have thought we would have cracked it by now, but the concept of coaching can at times be so broad that it in fact its ambiguity becomes a barrier to some.
Through this chat came ideas, our shared experiences, lots of words and one or two mint teas. One of the words that kept coming up and stuck with us was identity. We realised what a foundation stone this was to all of coaching, both in and out of the professional space.
Identity Coaching ...was born. We decided it was a thing. Your thing.
Ultimately, the big Who Am I? question. By working towards an authentic answer to this question, answers to many of the other big questions will evolve. (What do I want? What do I think? What will I do? How do I progress? etc.).
Not sure about you, but right now the world seems to be in a rather challenging period. Global political, environmental and financial catastrophes seem to demonstrate that we are becoming increasingly disconnected from who we really are, the community around us and the very earth we live on. Add to that a huge pinch of technological dependency that seems to have created an expectation for Insta ambition and success. And a shaving of narcissism that is making us more selfie aware than self-aware. All in all, a hot (mess) pot that is bubbling over.
But the Guerrillas believe that we have gone to such a collective state of disconnection that it has set our inbuilt alarm cocks ringing, and it’s waking a lot of people up.
People are starting to open their eyes to the opportunity for change and transformation. Increasing numbers of people are asking us what really matters, and reevaluating their life’s direction. We feel, this awakening has led to a growing need for Identity Coaching.
All coaching processes are organised around the movement from a present state to a desired state. With Identity Coaching, the desired state is deeply connected with ourselves and to live from a place of authenticity, presence and fullness. To be who we really are. To live authentically.
One of the main challenges in our lives, that works against our natural self-evolution to happiness, is that we disconnect from ourselves in order to protect ourselves. Because of this, we lose contact with our true needs and take refuge in activities and behaviors that keep us disconnected. We become reactive or withdrawn and begin to ‘shut down’ our authentic self, and begin to wear the armory that we feel protected by. We also start to believe that this armory is actually who we are. We also move away from what we fear rather than being in touch with what we want to do and be in our lives. Fear and fun; all welcome.
So, Who are you? and What do you want?
Try asking yourself those questions. Try it a few times each day throughout the day. Are your answers different first thing in the morning than at 18.45 travelling home on the Central Line? Are they different on a rainy Wednesday 1 week before payday to when you step of the plane in Rio looking forward to the start of a fabulous holiday? (Dreams can come true. Gabrielle said so).
The very act of asking yourself these questions is the first step of Identity Coaching, and you can do it all by yourself. How lovely. Then, when you’re ready, myself and the other Guerrillas can continue this process using coaching techniques to explore more:
A key outcome of Identity Coaching is to enable people to expand and deepen their sense of who they are and respond to the opportunities and challenges presented by life from a place of increasing presence, resourcefulness and authenticity—even during times of challenge and crisis. From the perspective of Identity Coaching, I think one way for us to view our lives, is as a ‘hero’s journey’ and to find the ‘call to action’ present in events and challenges we face. In fact, it is often through the crises in our lives that we come into greater fullness and are more able to find our unique expressions in life. Give yourself more credit. Don’t be afraid of being a hero.
It might sound like the stuff of cheesy blockbuster movies, but so what? Who actually cares? Who is actually watching? Why not live the life you deserve to live? Be the person you are? Everybody else is taken.
Come talk to us. Myself and the other Guerrillas are always open for chat. drop us an email or give us a call. You might have questions, we might have answers. Try us. We’d love to find out who you are and what you want. (but if we don’t answer, don’t blame us, blame Eggheads).
Thanks to resident Guerrilla Barry for kicking us off with our first blog. Amongst all the Coaching and People Development we do, we're taking on Identity Coaching as our personal crusade. It'll all make sense when you've read the blog but in a nutshell ... why not live the life you deserve to live? Be the person you are? Everybody else is taken.